Life is complicated and not always straightforward or black and white. Therefore some Step Nine amends may take a little creativity and patience. Working this stepshould never lead to the further harm of others. Direct Amends – taking personal responsibility for your actions and confronting the person who you would like to reconcile with.

• When appropriate, remind others that you are here if they change their mind or wish to talk.
• Sometimes, making direct amends to someone may lead to further harm.
• No matter where you are in your recovery journey, Waypoint Recovery Center in North Charleston, SC, is committed to providing you with the resources you need to be successful.
• Engaging in the process of making amends serves several vital purposes in an individual’s recovery journey.
• If we want to be forgiven, we have to be patient, because it may not come today, tomorrow or the next day.

The Difference Between Making Amends and Making Apologies

If you’re participating in Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) or a similar 12-Step program, you’ve probably heard that making amends is an important part of your recovery journey. Remember that part of making amends is demonstrating changed behavior. Even concrete steps like repaying a debt aren’t done once you hand money over; you also have to avoid betraying that person in the future. For this reason, amends are an ongoing process without an end date. The point of making amends is to acknowledge the harm that your addiction has caused and put it in the past.

Amends Are Not Apologies—They’re Expressions of Accountability

• When it comes to making amends to others, there are usually a lot of fears and expectations involved.
• By Step Nine, we’ve eliminated many of the destructive attitudes, perspectives and feelings we used to have, which makes room for love in our lives.

All types of amends are good, but living amends are some of the best kinds you can make! They affirm your decision to make lifelong changes, which has a positive effect on both you and everyone around you. Our goal is to establish a relationship with high accountability and supportive sober living homes, allowing us to invest in a client’s success. We ask for weekly progress reports and that each recipient pay it forward by paying back 25% of the total awarded amount within a year. A direct amend doesn’t stop there though—it should be followed with long-lasting life changes that will demonstrate your sincerity. So, in the example listed above, this would involve treating your mom’s home and property with respect at all times.

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We’ll pay 50% of the cost during the second month, and during their third month, we pay 25%. In addition, we will be asking our recipients to pay it forward by returning 25% of the scholarship Twelve-step program to Living Amends within 12 months. Making amends with the people in your life may take weeks, months, or even years to accomplish, but it’s well worth the time and effort to get it done. When Jason Wahler first joined the cast of Laguna Beach as a senior in high school, his mental health and addiction struggles were already underway. His addiction also “drove me to suicide,” he revealed to Entertainment Tonight in 2016. While doing our amends and experiencing being forgiven, we begin to see the value in extending it to others.

Forgiveness

Sponsorship is critical to all of the 12 Steps, but it’s especially helpful at this stage. A sponsor can offer guidance, expert input, and information from their own experience working these steps. They can identify holes in your logic, places where you’re holding back, and ill-advised choices (like making amends to https://radio.lev.edu.ec/index.php/2020/11/16/health-topics-treatment-for-alcohol-problems-2/ a person who does not want to hear from you).

Progressing in Your Recovery

Here, we explore Step 9, its goals, possible outcomes, and effective language for making amends. Determining the most impactful approach will require a great deal of honesty. A qualified behavioral therapist can help you identify the areas of your life that need attention. And it can be intimidating to be uncertain about how the other person will react. Addiction takes over your life, stealing both your joy and your time, and making it impossible for you to give back to others and live a generous life. Instead, as you pursue a life in recovery, focus on being generous with your time and giving back to others.

Talking with your sober community about your history with drugs or alcohol can help you identify what you need to make amends for. Making amends involves acknowledging and correcting past behaviors. It’s a transformational part of addiction recovery that takes courage, self-awareness, and a willingness to change. Again, in recovery, your words may not mean as much to some people as you wish they would. Understandably, some people may just need more time to learn how to trust you again. In these instances, the best thing you can do is to focus on your behavior and remain faithful to your commitment to live an honest, sober life.

The Ongoing Nature & Power of Making Amends in Recovery

Step 9 centers on forgiveness living amends and restoration, confronting past actions directly rather than avoiding them. This step emphasizes making direct amends wherever possible, acknowledging harm caused and taking actions to rectify mistakes. Making amends is vital for the recovery journey as it helps us recognize the harm we have caused and take responsibility for our actions.

Breaking Down Step Eight of AA Alcoholics Anonymous

At Living Amends, we recognize the need for sober living in the recovery process. As a result, we’ve developed our scholarship for those seeking a way to pay for this method of on-going treatment. Through donations and contributions from people who are also in recovery, we can encourage you to live a sober lifestyle.

We also have numerous continuing care community groups that give you an opportunity to hear how others have made amends and receive guidance for your next steps. Whether you’ve been in recovery for a while or are just considering treatment, Willingway is ready to help. Understanding how making amends supports the healing journey reveals why this often-challenging step is so essential to lasting sobriety and personal growth. Psychologically, the concept gained prominence in the 20th century as therapists recognized the power of taking responsibility and repairing relationships to heal emotional wounds and reduce guilt. Making amends is more than saying sorry — it’s about taking responsibility, rebuilding trust, and changing behavior.